How To Spot A GOOD WIFE in the Gen Z

 

How do you spot a good wife in the gen Z era?

“Mac, how do I know who is genuine? I have dated many women both internationally and locally, and they ended up being disloyal. I can’t go and pour all my emotions into one person and it ends up the same way, sometimes I feel like they are all the same.”

Yesterday, I spent an hour on a call with S, and he asked this very question. 

S is not stupid, neither is he a novice. At 34, he’s got an MBA from a prestigious school in England, real estate in places like Dubai, England, etc, and a life with so much potential.

Yet, he had so many questions regarding how to spot a wife. 

He is not alone. 

Many African men have been left confused, especially in this social media age. All men are constantly swayed by how easy it is to get sex today; the hook up culture, the naked women who shake their buttocks everywhere, the very good bad girls,  such that when they are finally ready to settle down, they are confused as to what a good woman really looks like. 

The lines are blurred, often, because decency or the quality of being simple in looks, and in dressing, cannot be translated as goodness. Men who constantly patronize these women end up losing themselves, and lose touch with their emotions because they believe that all women can be bought. 

Asides this, the average African man has been so fooled and seduced by the fact that he has a penis and so he is the more powerful gender, that he is often blinded or naive, to the value or potential of a truly fantastic woman. 

How can you see a fantastic woman when you don’t even know what qualifies as fantastic?

He doesn’t understand that to achieve the next level of greatness, a fantastic woman is necessary, because a fantastic woman typically, is blessed with different gifts than men. Her gifts are essential, and combined with your strengths, you would become a true weapon. 

A rewiring of the mind has become a necessity then. 

So you may be a smart man, you may be financially stable, you may pride yourself on your looks, but being with a woman who is not your woman, will set you back in life.

While being with a fantastic wife will catapult you, forward, to crowns you never even knew existed. 

Do not be misled by flashy photos, cute smiles, or big buttocks- this is a short guide on how to find the right woman. 

So without further ado, as an African man, what should you be looking out for as far as spotting a wife is concerned? 

1. She was raised in Love: A woman may have come from a home were money was an issue, yet, it is possible that she was still raised in love. It is possible that she had a hardworking father who led in love, and that she understands the role of a wife as far as building a home in love is concerned because she had a mother who despite being poor, absolutely loved her. This is important. A woman who was raised in survival mode, who believes that the food in her mouth is the most important thing, who has spent her youth lusting after the material things she doesn’t have instead of building a life and a career for herself, is not a woman you want to be with. You want a woman who was raised in love because then she places value on her emotions that money cannot buy. She understands how to sow seeds of love and she knows that simply because things are not good today, doesn’t mean that they can’t be better tomorrow. 

1. She is Kind to people who can do nothing for her: How does she treat the help? How often does she feed her domestic staff? How does she treat her friends or her nephews? How does she treat men who she doesn’t like? The way a woman treats people who can do nothing for her will tell you who she is at her core. A woman who is constantly thinking about people in terms of what they can do for her is a woman who is selfish at her core. If she is too focused on how much this guy is bringing or how much that guy is worth, or what car he drives, that’s a woman who is not worth the time. Soon, she would start to belittle what you do because these types are like material junkies, always seeking the next high to get off. Some of the women we feature in our challenges are like this. You see them looking flashy and as a man you are drawn to their looks but be very very careful, because simply because it is glittering and shining everywhere does not mean that it is gold. These types absolutely know how to wield their looks as weapons to attract men, because they are always looking for the next big man to spoil them. If you are looking for a fun time, you can go after this type of woman. But if you are looking for a wife, steer very clear. 

1. She’s got integrity: You want a woman who has integrity because you want to be able to trust what she is saying to you. It’s from the little things. You want to go out with two women for 10am. One woman calls you by 9:30 to say she’s sorry she’s going to be a bit late, another woman comes by 11am and is not even apologetic because she thinks you should understand Nigerian time. Both women are late, but only one of them cared enough to show some measure of integrity. 

1. She is discerning: When a woman is not discerning, then it’s a problem because women, as far as social cues are concerned, are very discerning. A woman can look at one man and just by observing him, she would let her man know if he’s a good friend for him or not. And more times than not, she would be right. You have to pay attention to how discerning she is because women would whisper many things in your ears at night when you want to sleep. Be sure that you are picking a discerning, wise woman, because when all else fails, you want a wife who can advise you. Pay attention to the conclusions she makes about people, especially in social situations. If 7 times out of ten she is making the right conclusions, then this box has been ticked. 

1. She forgives, and she is amenable: If she is a woman who doesn’t forgive, be rest assured that she won’t forgive you when the time comes. You will mess up, and so would she. Having a partner, who like you, has a forgiving spirit is very important. Having a woman who can look at herself and her flaws in the mirror and actually know that the way she treated you or anyone else for that matter, and work towards reconciliation, is one of the biggest gems you can find in a woman. You must search for this in a woman you intend to be with.

In all, young man, ensure that you are these things before going to find them in someone else. 

Your friend for many days,

Mac