Night At The Opera

 The first night with a person you're getting to know is always tricky, you never really know how to act. I met this guy some months after i moved to the Uk, i was a bit lonely and honestly was in need of someone to get me through the "new in town phase". I asked  my handler to find me a guy in the UK and she sends me the profile of this man a day after, she said he was interested in me. I wasn't really feeling his picture, i could tell i was not attracted to him but i said what the heck? Let's see how this goes. We get talking and i find he's actually a cool guy. He's a project manager and he has a dog. One thing you should know about me is that i love dogs and he had the cutest puppy from the pictures he sent.

I've never been one to write people off based on their looks, but after seeing John i already knew it wasn't going to work. I felt guilty because it felt like i had led him on even when i knew the relationship could not possible progress beyond friendship. After a month of us being acquainted he invited me to  have dinner at his place, i couldn't bring myself to say no so i went. I hadn't intended to spend the night but the weather had other plans. It started raining heavily soon after I got there, and he was very happy to ask me spend the night.

He made dinner, we watched a movie, shared a laugh or 2 and i played with his dog.

Whoever said you shouldn't be up past midnight was on to something, because being awake past 12am just renders your inhibitions useless. One thing led to another and we were making out before i knew it. 

 I could not believe the selfishness of this man in bed. He only cared about satisfying himself. He finished his business and rolled over to his side and slept off immediately. I could not believe i just wasted a body count slot and for someone i wasn't even into. I decided to cut my loses, try to sleep and bounce immediately the day broke. I did not know i was in for a rude awakening. What i thought was going to be a quiet night for me to fall asleep recounting the bad choices that led me to this moment was about to be a night at the opera.

I got startled by this very familiar sound that brought memories of being back home in Nigeria. The sound of a generator, this man was snoring like a generator.  

I had never in my 30 years heard snoring like that. Everybody has had that one sibling or friend that snores, but you could bear it, or you would just need to tap or move them a bit and they would stop. I tried everything, i pushed him, hit the bed numerous times, called out his name, only thing i did not do was put a pillow over his head and i contemplated it. Putting my hands over my ears didn't work, this was one of the worst nights of my life.

I had to make a run for it, left the room to his living room to sleep on his couch, but his walls were thin, i could still hear the faint sound of him snoring. It felt like I was being hunted by his snoring cause i could still hear the sound of a generator in my sleep. 

I was out of his apartment before dawn,  and i swore that the only time we would see face to face would be in a church to exorcize the demon in him.