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ATM With Feelings

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 Have you heard the phrase "lean on me, no mean press me die?" For those who do not understand this, it's a colloquialism used by Nigerians that simply means to not put all your financial burdens on a person. This is something Gwen clearly did not know about. Our first date was filled with activity. We started at an Art gallery, went for a sip and paint and ended at this really fancy restaurant for dinner. I liked her, from the few conversations we had. she was a cool person and I wanted to impress her. The date went great and after some weeks we officially became a couple. Everything seemed fine at first, until I realised i was so close to getting sent to my village. I noticed my finances had dipped, it was one thing or the other with her everyday. Gwen was lovely, no doubt. Her laugh was infectious and she could make even our most boring conversations interesting. But soon came the financial chaos. At first, it was little things -  new lipstick, a pair of shoes, a weeke
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The Greek God

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 I don't think anyone is a stranger to unsatisfying sexual experiences. I've had one too many, and by now I can tell it is pretty much my fault, as I always have high expectations. After my last experience, I now have to remind myself to always have an average level of enthusiasm. I was having a very uneventful Saturday when I stumbled on this guy's profile. Ladies and gentlemen, this young man was a Greek god. His body looked like it was sculpted to be worshiped, it was clear he was a gymhead. I'm not bad myself, I go to the gym once every two weeks. He looked perfect, and it was just his pictures I was looking at. There was no question of my interest, I quickly sent a request.  He accepted my request thankfully, and we got talking. He was really my kind of guy, he was funny and smart and it was clear we were on the same wavelength. We became really close in such a short period. We started hanging out, but as fast as we were getting acquainted, it wasn't fast enoug
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How to be Emotionally Available

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    Emotional availability is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It involves being comfortable with emotions, intimacy, commitment, and open communication. If you've identified some emotional unavailability in yourself, here's how to shift it:   Step 1: Examine your beliefs about relationships and intimacy. Do you believe getting close to someone means they'll leave or hurt you? Do you believe you don't deserve love or connection? Whatever beliefs you uncover, challenge them by writing down reasons why they're not true. Provide specific examples and seek professional support if needed.   Step 2: Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Emotional availability requires breaking out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to feel emotions you've been avoiding or resisting. Start by acknowledging and accepting these emotions, and remember that it's a sign of inner strength, not weakness.   Step 3: Find a safe person to open up to, such as a therapist,
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GREEN FLAGS TO LOOK FOR WHILE DATING

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  While dating, it's essential to keep an eye out for green flags - signs that indicate a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Here are 12 green flags to look for:   1.Clear and direct communication: You don't feel confused about whether or not they want to spend time with you. They are clear and direct in their communication.   2.Reliable and consistent communication: Communication is reliable and consistent. You don't have to wonder if they're interested or if they'll follow through on plans.   3.Aligned words and actions: When they say they want to spend time together, they follow it up by making plans with you. Their words and actions are aligned.   4.Emotional availability: They display emotional availability, meaning they share their emotions, are vulnerable, and seek to understand and know you on an emotional level.   5.Present-day treatment: They treat you well now, not just potentially in the future. You're not focused on what could be; you're enjoy
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MIXED SIGNALS MEANS THEY’RE NOT READY FOR HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

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Mixed signals can be a major red flag in relationships. If someone is hot and cold, inconsistent, or unclear about their feelings, it may indicate emotional unavailability. This can lead to confusion, anxiety, and unhappiness in a relationship.   You may wonder if they're shy, playing it cool, or just busy, but the truth is, these traits can make them emotionally unavailable. Someone can have strong feelings for you, but if they can't communicate them, take distance, or are too busy to connect regularly, they're not ready for a healthy relationship.   Emotional unavailability can manifest in many ways. Maybe they only reach out to you sporadically, or only when it's convenient for them. Maybe they cancel plans at the last minute or don't follow through on commitments. Maybe they seem really into you one day, but then pull back and seem distant the next.   These mixed signals can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and unsure of where you stand. You may find yoursel
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IF SHOWING YOUR INTEREST SCARES SOMEONE OFF, LET THEM GO

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  If showing your interest scares someone off, let them go! There's a lot of advice out there about how to express your interest without coming on too strong, but if you want real, healthy love, forget that advice. Be clear and direct about your feelings, and if they're scared off, it's a sign that they're not ready for intimacy and emotional availability.   It's okay to be vulnerable and express your interest, even if it means risking rejection. Think of it as dodging a bullet if someone backs away. You've just identified someone who isn't looking for the kind of relationship you want. Better to know that early on than years into a relationship when you've invested time and energy.   Emotionally unavailable people aren't bad or evil; they're just not ready. Let them move forward on their path while you move forward on yours. You deserve someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are about them. Don't settle for anything less!   Remember
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SENSITIVITY AS A SUPERPOWER TO FIND REAL LOVE

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  Using your sensitivity as a superpower to find real love is a beautiful approach. As a highly sensitive person, you have a unique gift that allows you to tap into your emotions and intuition. By paying attention to how you feel during and after a date, you can gain valuable insights into whether someone is a good match for you.   It's essential to move beyond superficial characteristics like physical attraction or checking boxes off a list. Instead, focus on how someone's presence makes you feel. Ask yourself:   - Did I feel attractive and desirable around them? - Was I relaxed or tense? - Did I feel seen and heard, or ignored and invalidated? - Was there something about them that intrigued me or made me want to know more? - Did they bring out the best or worst parts of me?   Your feelings are a powerful tool for discerning whether someone is a good long-term partner. When you feel good in someone's presence, that's a strong indicator of potential relationship happine
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