Nirvanae

 I don't think anyone is a stranger to unsatisfying sexual experiences. I've had one too many, and by now I can tell it is pretty much my fault, as I always have high expectations. After my last experience, I now have to remind myself to always have an average level of enthusiasm. I was having a very uneventful Saturday when I stumbled on this guy's profile. Ladies and gentlemen, this young man was a Greek god. His body looked like it was sculpted to be worshiped, it was clear he was a gymhead. I'm not bad myself, I go to the gym once every two weeks. He looked perfect, and it was just his pictures I was looking at. There was no question of my interest, I quickly sent a request.  He accepted my request thankfully, and we got talking. He was really my kind of guy, he was funny and smart and it was clear we were on the same wavelength. We became really close in such a short period. We started hanging out, but as fast as we were getting acquainted, it wasn't fast enoug

    Emotional availability is the foundation of a healthy relationship. It involves being comfortable with emotions, intimacy, commitment, and open communication. If you've identified some emotional unavailability in yourself, here's how to shift it:   Step 1: Examine your beliefs about relationships and intimacy. Do you believe getting close to someone means they'll leave or hurt you? Do you believe you don't deserve love or connection? Whatever beliefs you uncover, challenge them by writing down reasons why they're not true. Provide specific examples and seek professional support if needed.   Step 2: Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Emotional availability requires breaking out of your comfort zone and allowing yourself to feel emotions you've been avoiding or resisting. Start by acknowledging and accepting these emotions, and remember that it's a sign of inner strength, not weakness.   Step 3: Find a safe person to open up to, such as a therapist,

  While dating, it's essential to keep an eye out for green flags - signs that indicate a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Here are 12 green flags to look for:   1.Clear and direct communication: You don't feel confused about whether or not they want to spend time with you. They are clear and direct in their communication.   2.Reliable and consistent communication: Communication is reliable and consistent. You don't have to wonder if they're interested or if they'll follow through on plans.   3.Aligned words and actions: When they say they want to spend time together, they follow it up by making plans with you. Their words and actions are aligned.   4.Emotional availability: They display emotional availability, meaning they share their emotions, are vulnerable, and seek to understand and know you on an emotional level.   5.Present-day treatment: They treat you well now, not just potentially in the future. You're not focused on what could be; you're enjoy

Mixed signals can be a major red flag in relationships. If someone is hot and cold, inconsistent, or unclear about their feelings, it may indicate emotional unavailability. This can lead to confusion, anxiety, and unhappiness in a relationship.   You may wonder if they're shy, playing it cool, or just busy, but the truth is, these traits can make them emotionally unavailable. Someone can have strong feelings for you, but if they can't communicate them, take distance, or are too busy to connect regularly, they're not ready for a healthy relationship.   Emotional unavailability can manifest in many ways. Maybe they only reach out to you sporadically, or only when it's convenient for them. Maybe they cancel plans at the last minute or don't follow through on commitments. Maybe they seem really into you one day, but then pull back and seem distant the next.   These mixed signals can leave you feeling confused, anxious, and unsure of where you stand. You may find yoursel

  If showing your interest scares someone off, let them go! There's a lot of advice out there about how to express your interest without coming on too strong, but if you want real, healthy love, forget that advice. Be clear and direct about your feelings, and if they're scared off, it's a sign that they're not ready for intimacy and emotional availability.   It's okay to be vulnerable and express your interest, even if it means risking rejection. Think of it as dodging a bullet if someone backs away. You've just identified someone who isn't looking for the kind of relationship you want. Better to know that early on than years into a relationship when you've invested time and energy.   Emotionally unavailable people aren't bad or evil; they're just not ready. Let them move forward on their path while you move forward on yours. You deserve someone who is as enthusiastic about you as you are about them. Don't settle for anything less!   Remember

  Using your sensitivity as a superpower to find real love is a beautiful approach. As a highly sensitive person, you have a unique gift that allows you to tap into your emotions and intuition. By paying attention to how you feel during and after a date, you can gain valuable insights into whether someone is a good match for you.   It's essential to move beyond superficial characteristics like physical attraction or checking boxes off a list. Instead, focus on how someone's presence makes you feel. Ask yourself:   - Did I feel attractive and desirable around them? - Was I relaxed or tense? - Did I feel seen and heard, or ignored and invalidated? - Was there something about them that intrigued me or made me want to know more? - Did they bring out the best or worst parts of me?   Your feelings are a powerful tool for discerning whether someone is a good long-term partner. When you feel good in someone's presence, that's a strong indicator of potential relationship happine

  As we navigate the complexities of love and relationships, it's essential to recognize that healthy partnerships require balance and integration. Societal expectations often dictate that individuals conform to traditional masculine or feminine roles, but this limitation can lead to imbalance and stagnation. By embracing both assertiveness and emotionality, decisiveness and surrender, we can transcend gendered expectations and cultivate more authentic connections.   This balance allows us to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and nurture emotional intimacy. When we embody both aspects, we create a harmonious union within ourselves and with our partners. However, when we lean too heavily into one aspect, we risk missing out on the full richness of human connection.   Overemphasizing masculine energy can lead to emotional disconnection and neglect of our own vulnerability. We may prioritize logic and control over empathy and understanding, causing our relationships to suffer.

  SHARING YOUR FEELINGS DOESN'T RUIN" YOUR RELATIONSHIP Sharing your feelings and needs in a relationship is often seen as a vulnerable and potentially risky act. However, it's essential to recognize that expressing yourself authentically doesn't "ruin" relationships. Instead, it provides valuable information about the dynamics and compatibility within the relationship.   Here are two crucial points to consider:   1. You aren't "ruining" the relationship by sharing your feelings; you're simply being true to yourself and communicating your needs. 2. If being vulnerable leads to the relationship ending, it's likely because the relationship wasn't sustainable or healthy for you in the first place. A positive and supportive partner will respect your needs and feelings, and work with you to navigate challenges.   When you share your thoughts, feelings, needs, preferences, or boundaries with your partner, you'll likely encounter one of

Understanding the potential dangers in relationships is crucial for building healthy and fulfilling connections. While not every red flag signifies a doomed relationship, recognizing these warning signs can help you make informed decisions about your emotional well-being. Patterns of Abuse and Control ● Physical, Emotional, and Psychological Abuse: Any form of abuse, whether physical, emotional, or psychological, is a definitive red flag. It erodes trust, self-esteem, and can have lasting emotional consequences. ●Controlling Behavior: Attempts to isolate you from friends and family, excessive jealousy, or monitoring your activities are indicators of a controlling dynamic. Healthy relationships are built on trust and mutual respect. ●Gaslighting: Manipulative tactics designed to make you question your reality and sanity. This insidious form of emotional abuse can be particularly damaging. Communication Breakdown ●Lack of Openness: Difficulty expressing feelings, consistent misunderstand

 The first night with a person you're getting to know is always tricky, you never really know how to act. I met this guy some months after i moved to the Uk, i was a bit lonely and honestly was in need of someone to get me through the "new in town phase". I asked  my handler to find me a guy in the UK and she sends me the profile of this man a day after, she said he was interested in me. I wasn't really feeling his picture, i could tell i was not attracted to him but i said what the heck? Let's see how this goes. We get talking and i find he's actually a cool guy. He's a project manager and he has a dog. One thing you should know about me is that i love dogs and he had the cutest puppy from the pictures he sent. I've never been one to write people off based on their looks, but after seeing John i already knew it wasn't going to work. I felt guilty because it felt like i had led him on even when i knew the relationship could not possible progress be

I have always had a thing for opinionated women. I got matched with one and it was love at first argument. Don't get me wrong i don't mean i like women that fight or argue a lot. I just love women that have  strong opinions and i can have fun little debates with. And Ada was that girl. Her bio said "i bring the storm, "i said ah! Ada the storm bringer,  lets do this lol". She was a breath of fresh air cause i was tired of meeting other women with no personalities. Our banters were so good, we were almost always breathless after. Then we finally decided to meet. We met at this bar she choose, it was so not  my my style, very loud and filled with people. But i was really looking forward to meeting her so i didn't mind. We got seated, and our chemistry was electrifying. We talked about the traffic we both had to sit in to get there, the rain that fell the night before, and about the drinks we were having. We talked and argued,  it was the best date ever, and she

Does anyone else hate how hot the sun gets from 12pm? I was off from work this particular Friday afternoon and i decided to check for some profiles on nirvanae. I just kept scrolling through a lot of hot profiles wondering why no one had accepted my requests yet. Well, the picture i used wasn't really flattering, i kept saying i would change it, but who actaullly  has the time to take pictures? Then all of a sudden i found this profile of Sarah, her profile picture was of her in an art gallery wearing a mustard yellow gown, heels and the biggest smile  She looked happy and mischievous, just like my type. I quickly sent a request and i guess the gods knew i needed a win because she accepted me shortly. Our first conversations had a lot of energy, we laughed a lot, cracked jokes, talked about our favorite restaurants in town. And did i mention she was into Football? My dream girl truely. I felt a connection i had not felt since my university days. But then, the switch flipped. Once w

  Our clients absolutely crack us up! Laugh with us at some of their match  experiences. 2nd slide “ First of all, when did being overly romantic become a bad thing, cause this woman said it was too much and i should calm down, please help me understand. Please I've decided to save my plenty romance, tell me when you find someone else for me" - T 3rd slide "I showed up 2 hours late and acted like nothing was wrong 😭 I had to look fine nau. He still went on with the date though but he never contacted me again. He's strict o. I really did not even notice the time had gone by so fast, and he was really fine o. He cannot even forgive somebody 😭😂" -K 4th slide ⁠” i don't even  understand what happened on that date, I'm not even kidding the moment my butt hit the chair this man started talking. He did not even let me say one word. Please i just blocked him after, if i wanted to listen to a radio i would have just stayed at home"- S 5th slide “ His job d

  How do you spot a good wife in the gen Z era? “Mac, how do I know who is genuine? I have dated many women both internationally and locally, and they ended up being disloyal. I can’t go and pour all my emotions into one person and it ends up the same way, sometimes I feel like they are all the same.” Yesterday, I spent an hour on a call with S, and he asked this very question.  S is not stupid, neither is he a novice. At 34, he’s got an MBA from a prestigious school in England, real estate in places like Dubai, England, etc, and a life with so much potential. Yet, he had so many questions regarding how to spot a wife.  He is not alone.  Many African men have been left confused, especially in this social media age. All men are constantly swayed by how easy it is to get sex today; the hook up culture, the naked women who shake their buttocks everywhere, the very good bad girls,  such that when they are finally ready to settle down, they are confused as to what a good woman really looks